Mark Twain

"Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other."

"Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live."

"Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident."

"If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed."

"You believe in a book that has talking animals, wizards, witches, demons, sticks turning into snakes, burning bushes, food falling from the sky, people walking on water, and all sorts of magical, absurd and primitive stories, and you say that we are the ones that need help?"

"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man."

"The trouble is not in dying for a friend, but in finding a friend worth dying for."

"I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened."

"I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."

"Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime."

"God created war so that Americans would learn geography."

"The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also."

"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear."

"Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please."

"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society."

"Books are for people who wish they were somewhere else."

"What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce."

"Its not the size of the dog in the fight, its the size of the fight in the dog."

"A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain."

"I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!"

"History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme."

"Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty."

Mark Twain