George Carlin

‎"I don't have pet peeves - I have major psychotic fucking hatreds." - George Carlin

George Carlin

"The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post “Thou shalt not steal,” “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” and “Thou shalt not lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment."

George Carlin

George Carlin

"The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. "

George Carlin