Terry Pratchet

"There should be a word for that brief period just after waking when the mind is full of warm pink nothing. You lie there entirely empty of thought, except for a growing suspicion that heading towards you, like a sockful of damp sand in a nocturnal alleyway, are all the recollections you'd really rather do without, and which amount to the fact that the only mitigating factor in your horrible future is the certainty that it will be quite short. "

Terry Pratchett (Mort)

Terry Pratchett

"It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life."
Terry Pratchett

Terry Pratchett

"Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying 'End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH', the paint wouldn't even have time to dry."

Terry Pratchett

Terry Pratchett

"The universe contains any amount of horrible ways to be woken up, such as the noise of the mob breaking down the front door, the scream of fire engines, or the realization that today is the Monday which on Friday night was a comfortably long way off ... "

Terry Pratchett

Sex

"The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it."

Woody Allen

"Is sex dirty? Only when it's being done right."

Woody Allen

"Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions."

Woody Allen

"Someone told me the delightful story of the crusader who put a chastity belt on his wife and gave the key to his best friend for safekeeping, in case of his death. He had ridden only a few miles away when his friend, riding hard, caught up with him, saying 'You gave me the wrong key!'"

Anaïs Nin

"She was pleased to have him come and never sorry to see him go."

Dorothy Parker

"We can spend our lives letting the world tell us who we are. Sane or insane. Saints or sex addicts. Heroes or victims. Letting history tell us how good or bad we are. Letting our past decide our future. Or we can decide for ourselves. And maybe it's our job to invent something better."

Chuck Palahniuk

"Man may have discovered fire, but women discovered how to play with it.

Carrie Bradshaw

"He'd noticed that sex bore some resemblance to cookery: it fascinated people, they sometimes bought books full of complicated recipes and interesting pictures, and sometimes when they were really hungry they created vast banquets in their imagination - but at the end of the day they'd settle quite happily for egg and chips. If it was well done and maybe had a slice of tomato."

Terry Pratchett

"It's woman's spirit and mood a man has to stimulate in order to make sex interesting. The real lover is the man who can thrill you by touching your face or smiling into your eyes or just staring into space."

Marilyn Monroe

Terry Pratchett

"Albert grunted. "Do you know what happens to lads who ask too many questions?"
Mort thought for a moment.
"No," he said eventually, "what?"
There was silence.
Then Albert straightened up and said, "Damned if I know. Probably they get answers, and serve 'em right."

"Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on."

Terry Pratchett

Terry Pratchett

"The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it."

Terry Pratchett

Terry Pratchett

"It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life."

Terry Pratchett

Terry Pratchett

"Words are the litmus paper of the minds. If you find yourself in the power of someone who will use the word "commence" in cold blood, go somewhere else very quickly. But if they say "Enter", don't stop to pack".

Terry Pratchett

Terry Pratchett

"An education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on."

Terry Pratchett

Terry Pratchett

"The truth may be out there, but the lies are inside your head."

Terry Pratchett

Terry Pratchett

"It's not worth doing something unless someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren't doing it."

Terry Pratchett

Terry Pratchett

"Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying "End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH," the paint wouldn't even have time to dry."

Terry Pratchett

Terry Pratchett

"The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it."

Terry Pratchett

Terry Pratchett

"I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there's evidence of any thinking going on inside it."

Terry Pratchett